Stepping away from the Supermum script: reflections on Easter, bonnets, and being enough
This Easter, as I sat surrounded by family & grown children, sharing memories of past years, I was reminded of a tradition we no longer practice, but one that created a lot of joy. I speak of Easter Bonnets of course! Felt flowers, stray feathers and the faint scent of glue, I found myself deep in the memories of Easter bonnet-making with my children. But I also reflected that what would start as a light-hearted, crafty moment, would often turn into an anxiety-inducing game of comparison.
Should I have gotten more elaborate craft pieces? Should we have added more? Did I try hard enough? Will they feel proud or outdone by other children? Will this be the worst of them all?
It wasn’t about the hat. It was about the pressure - familiar and unspoken - that so many of us carry: to be the “supermum,” the one who gets it all right. The one who bakes from scratch, crafts with flair, balances work, parenting, and still remembers to pack the water bottle.
The Easter bonnet became a mirror, reflecting back the bigger challenge: the expectation to do it all, often in silence, often while pretending it’s easy.
Sound familiar?
A 2023 study by the Modern Family Index found that over 70% of working parents feel pressure to appear as though they’re managing effortlessly. And women, in particular, are more likely to internalise this pressure - fuelled by social media, outdated gender roles, and the sheer relentlessness of the mental load.
Now, don’t get me wrong, some parents genuinely enjoy going all-out, and that there's nothing wrong with that - as long as it's a choice, not a pressure.
At WOMBA, we often talk about permission. Permission to show up as we are. To do things imperfectly. To ask for support. And to remember that enough is enough.
So this Easter, if you were lucky enough to still be bonnet making with your children, whether your child wore a crown of craft store glory or a simple paper band with a hand-drawn chick, here’s the truth: they saw you show up. They felt your time, your care, your effort. And that counts more than glitter ever will!
To manage pressures during these times, you can:
Check your expectations, are they realistic?
Remind yourself what matters, what will my child and I remember about this time?
Pause, and see what you can let go of?
Because we believe the most powerful legacy we can offer our children isn’t perfection. It’s presence.